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Posts Tagged ‘adoption’

Last night I checked Twitter before turning the lights out, like I always do. And my heart stopped.

“Taiwan hit by earthquake. Houses in ruins in Tainan”. In Tainan of all places. Where is our orphanage? In Tainan, of course. 

So my heart kind of stopped out of fear. Fear of the orphanage being one of the buildings in ruins, fear the children would be hurt. 

It turns out they’re all okay, but I was so scared. The hurdles we must overcome to achieve parenthood…

Here’s a drone video of the destruction.

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I couldn’t blog yesterday. I was too upset: sad, angry and disappointed, all at once. The post could’ve been titled “rejected”, because that’s what we’ve been. Rejected.

We heard from Taiwan. We’d come into question for a specific child, all the way back in October, and along with one other family we got to send our papers. Yesterday – after more than three months – we found out that they’d chosen the other family. Key word: family. They already had a child/children. We weren’t chosen as parents for an adoptive child because we don’t have children. Oh the irony.

Is this when I’m supposed to think everything happens for a reason? Or that:

the struggle

Yeah, whatever…

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So, we watched the movie “Philomena” tonight. It’s the movie about the Irish lady that, as a teenager, had a baby at a convent where the nuns give him up for adoption, and she spends her whole life looking for him. Terribly sad.

And now I’m extremely concerned about our adoption. How can we be sure, to 100 %, that our child really has been voluntarily given up for adoption? I’m sure that’s what the agency is for, but still, movies and stories like this make me worry 😦

I hope we will get a chance to meet the birth parents, or at least the mother, when we’re there. That way we’ll be able to ask her in person why she’s giving her child up for adoption, and bring back answers for our child when he or she seeks them.

What are your thoughts on this?

book-philomena-650

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The waiting game is on. Has been for 11 weeks now. Which is nothing, I realize. It could be 11 months until we hear anything… It’s frustrating though. I keep my phone on me at all times in case the adoption agency should call. Of course I have their number programmed on the phone so I’ll see that it’s them calling.

And I can’t wait to go to Taiwan! I get hungry just thinking about it! Over the last couple of months it’s like the universe has shifted a bit more towards Taiwan. Articles and news that normally would’ve never reache us seem to trickle into our Facebook and Twitter feeds. And most of them center around food. Glorious looking, amazing food!

How Taiwan Became The Hottest Food Destination On Earth

25 Things You Must Eat in Tainan, the Culinary Center of Taiwan

It all looks so yummy!

It all looks so yummy!

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As of today we are finally in the “active” line for adoption from Taiwan. All our papers are ready and translated, and our photo presentation has been approved. Our “sales material” as I call it. Because that’s kind of what it is.

That’s all the mother has to go on and choose from when choosing parents for her child. Pictures of us, our home and our surrounding area… I hope we make a good “catch”.

The countdown and wait has begun!

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I’m not worried for our own sake, but I find it worrying what’s happening in regards to international adoptions in Kenya. Poor, poor parents.

If you don’t know what I’m on about I’m referring to last week’s news when three Scandinavian families in Kenya adopting children (when adopting from Kenya you have to spend 9-12 months with the child in the country) had their adoptive children taken from them. Live, on Kenyan tv. The police just showed up, with national tv in tow, without any warning and fetched the children – after seven months!

I can’t even begin to imagine the horror they’re living through.

The reason is that people have stepped forward, claiming to be the childrens’ relatives, and if this is true – of course the children should be returned to them, but how can that even be? What the heck kind of security systems do the Kenyan govt have in place, if there’s even a risk that children can have been taken from their families and relatives against their will to begin with?! The children are adopted from an orphanage!

I really hope these small families aren’t just a being used for political purposes, that they are just pawns in a bigger scheme.

Again – poor, poor parents 😦

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Almost there…

…as in, “we’re almost ready to send the papers”. This adoption thing isn’t quick, by any means. We’ve had all our documentation translated to English, and it’s now being translated from English to Chinese. We’re not adopting from China though, but Taiwan. Which to some is the same thing, but I’m siding with the Taiwanese and calling it its own country.

Taiwan used to be called Formosa, Portuguese for beautiful, since the Portuguese sailors sighted the island and called it “the beautiful island” in 1592. The official name of the state is Republic of China, but it’s mainly called Taiwan after the largest island.

twlarge

The Taiwanese flag – beautiful (just like the old name of the country)!

We’ve decided on Taiwan for a number of reasons. For one it was one of the rather few countries I can adopt from, because of my arthritis. Many countries rule me out instantly 😦 Another reason is that it seems like an amazing country! Both beautiful and successful, with a high standard of living and democratic values. It seems like a country we’d like to return to, many times. Also, the orphanage we’ve chosen seems really good, both in terms of how they take care of the children, but also the mothers. It’s a huge social stigma to become an unwed mother in Taiwan, and since there’s no sex ed in school, many of the mothers are very young. The orphanage ensures the mothers get emotional support, sex ed, job training and counselling. This of course also means that they will have a lot of info on the mother of our future child, and we might even get a chance to meet with her. This is very important to us, to be able to give our child as much information as possible on his or her background. We’re sure it’ll help with some of the questions that for sure will arise in years to come. Also, the mother may be part of the process of choosing us as parents for her child. That feels great too.

It’s a common misconception that adopted children are “chosen” by the adoptive parents. Quite contrary. We’ve picked country and orphanage, “wished” for a healthy and young child, but that’s it. We can’t decide the sex of the child, and we can’t choose between children. When the time comes, we will have been chosen for a child, not the other way around.

Another common mistake is that everyone assumes it’ll be a girl. When in fact a vast majority of the children adopted to Sweden are boys. Last year, in total there was two boys to any adopted girl, overall, but from Asia the ratio was six to one.

We’re hoping the paperwork, including our photo presentation, will all be finished in August so we can finally send our papers off and be “in the game”. Hopefully we’ll be viewed as an attractive option for a child, and hopefully sooner rather than later 🙂 We’re fed up with waiting!

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